I Wrote What?

I wasn't going to specifically write a Year-In-Review post as other than Ireland (which feels like I just finished writing about), I don't really recall 2011 being a great year for recapping. I did, however, figured I'd mention a few moments in my "Hello 2012, I dare you to out-crap 2011" post I'm working of for tomorrow. As I reviewed a year worth of posts, I noticed something: I crack myself up.

I noticed this when I switched to the new timeline on facebook (and had to edit almost five years worth of status updates), and found myself chuckling alone in my apartment at my own willingness to be an idiot. So instead of a recap of "the best of 2011" or "highlights of 2011" or "the amazing things I did in 2011", I give you instead: the posts I most enjoy from 2011.

Don't brush and eat

I judge you based on the movies you watch

I still love you


Geeks need love too!

When I was sweet sixteen seventeen

I'm still younger than the Doctor

This is why I'm not allowed out in public

Then this happened... so I look into becoming a nun

Then this happened... so I look into become a cricket fan

I blame my dad for my whack sense of musical taste

I nerd out about ST:TNG again

I meet a lady who knew my dad when he had hair!!

I nerd out about Pluto having another moon

Canada lost an amazing man

I willingly posted a video of my singing

I need to learn to keep my mouth shut

If I put up pictures of Deanna Troi, I triple my number of page hits (true story)

I'm takin' it back to the old school cuz I'm an old fool who's so cool


Is mise AndreaClaire. Is as Canada dom. Conas ata tu? Pog mo thoin. Slan ge foill! (And that's about all the Irish I know!)

I love Christmas

That pretty much sums up me and it sums up my 2011. I had a late night last night thanks to a friend visiting from Switzerland so after much debate, I'm spending my New Years with a short guitar practice then one serving of ice cream and my Doctor Who DVD. Little Miss Wild-n-Crazy over here!!

Happy New Year!

CMC: Christmas Dinner

This is part of my Christmas Memory Challenge, a goal I set for myself to recall 25 things I love about Christmas. You can also check out Shannon's memories here.

No Christmas Memory Challenge would be complete without memories of Christmas dinner. From the small dinners of just my immediate family, to the larger dinners of family and friends, to the insanely large dinners of the Alberta family, Christmas dinner is the apex of the holiday season. Turkey, stuffing, gravy, potatoes, vegetables you're not totally sure when they are because you just immediately smother them in gravy, and plate-licking deserts, Christmas dinner is just such a lovely meal.

But it's not just about the food. In this crazy, rush-rush world we live in, it's so lovely to take an afternoon (or even an entire day sometimes) to come together with loved ones and just enjoy their company. Whether you get stuck at the kids table where one of your cousins takes to yelling out everytime he hears someone fart (true story) or you're stuck in the middle of a political conversation regarding the current situtation in Northern Ireland and you're too young to understand half of it (also, a true story), it's an excuse to just sit and take two hours to enjoy one meal.

So, from my family to yours, I wish you a happy holiday season and I hope you enjoyed my memory challenge. And may you take two hours to enjoy your dinner tonight without political conversations about the current Euro zone economy crisis... even if your dinner is Chinese takeout for you and your cats. (Not surprisingly, that last part applies to at least two of you and you know who you are!)

Happy Holidays, Everyone!

To You From Failing Hands

It is Remembrance Day in Canada to honour those who have fought and, in some cases, died for our country. The day has taken on more meaning for me as I get older and I know some of the men and women who currently wear the uniform. I rarely make it through the day now without crying at some point.

About three years ago, I started a tradition of writing to "Any Canadian Forces Member" at this time of year. I pick four or five different operations, usually focusing on lesser known ones, and send my thoughts and thanks on the back of a postcard of Canada. Who doesn't love getting random postcards?

You can participate in the "Any Canadian Forces Member" by following the instructions on this page.

And I encourage you to hug a vet.

Things I Think Are Awesome: Part Two

Part two of no segues has arrived. (There will also be no segways. We've been over this.)

1. This Photo

For those of you born without the geek chromosome (oh, how boring your life must be), that's Nathan Fillion, Felicity Day, Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright and Anthony Head all in the same photo! On top of that, the photo was taken in the house of Joss Whedon!!

Throw in a Wil Wheaton, and I would have stolen a car and driven to that party... three days late, but whatever.

2. Sleeping masks

At some point this summer, I noticed that I was waking up really early regardless of what time I went to bed. I started sleeping with a shirt strategically placed across the top half of my head and noticed a huge difference. After a conversation with my mom, I got one of their free-from-a-plane-trip sleeping mask and it's love. Well, lust.

I've noticed that it's much easier to fall asleep and when I wake up, I've actually slept the whole night. I'm waking up at 7:00am (without an alarm clock!) feeling completely refreshed. I'm also not waking up through out the night because of various street noises. I'm attributing this to the fact that I'm reaching REM sooner and staying in it longer because the light from the outside streetlamp is no longer affecting my sleep patterns.

Of course, I'm not a scientist, so this could all just be mumbo-jumbo bulldroppings.

But it sounds impressive, right?

The only downside is that the cheep sleeping mask can occasionally get a little hot and sweaty. An upgrade to a higher calibre of mask is on the horizon (although I'll stick with this one for now).

3. Fernwood Village

I felt it was time I threw a little love at my little corner of Victoria. It's a funky area to live in and I don't always give it the props it deserves. When I first moved to Fernwood in 2003, the NRG was pretty much a non-entity,  the George and Dragon Pub was the site of the worst service I had ever experienced in my life (and I was spat on by a waitress in Paris, so, you know, the G&D was pretty crappy), the dark square and questionable 'residents' meant I never walked through the area at night, and the largest building sat boarded up.

I would tell people I lived in Fernwood and I could see that look in their eye.

Flash forward five years and I'm back into the neighbourhood. The NRG is a sizable organisation which has bought and developed the Cornerstone Building (which houses the awesome Cornerstone Cafe), all available building space has been taken up by independent, locally owned businesses, the Fernwood Inn is actually a decent pub with decent service(!!), and the more questionable residents have been 'encouraged' to vacate, leaving behind the fun, funky artist and Bohemian types who make this neighbourhood so awesome.

As a community, we came together for a day and painted the poles. How awesome is that?

The Cornerstone Building is hiding in the background.

From the annual FernFest to small street parties, Fernwood really is about making the neighbourhood a neighbourhood. It's impossible to walk around the area without meeting someone you know from random conversations in  the cafe, the pub, or one of the restaurants.

I'm so glad I moved back to the area and got to give it another chance. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

PS. One of the people who makes Fernwood awesome, is Terry.

4. TARDIS Cat scratcher

Doctor Who!

Cats!

Together at last!

My mind = blown!

Okay, so it's not really the first time they've been together. In fact, if google is anything to go by, most Doctor Who fans must also be cat-owners. But my mind is still blown!

Tip of the Catnip to THR for sending this my way. More pictures can be found here.

5. Bakingdom

I woke up to find this announcement on the Bakingdom facebook place:

I pretty much had to sweep up my mind so it could be re-blown.

Fingers crossed she finds a way to make this happen!

6. Munro's Books

In anticipation of possibly going to Guinea next year, I wandered into Chapter's to peruse their French section. I had two goals while I was in there: 1) create a mental list of the type of French books I'd like to take to the school, and 2) check out the selection of sewing books to gauge if there's any with lots of pictures and very little writing.

While the children's section in french took up a decent chunk of space, it was the same eight books over and over and over and over. Okay, so perhaps there were more than eight, but the point is that there was a lot of repetition.

I mentally noted a couple of books and then headed out to Munro's. It will never cease to amaze me that a book a book store that would take up less than half of one floor of our three story Chapters building has a better book selection. Not only did they have more options for children's books in french, they also had an adult section in French, German, Italian and Spanish.

When it comes time to actually think about ordering these books seriously, you'll find me at Munro's (or Bolen's, love them too).

Also, Chapters, you kinda suck. But that's a different post.

Things I Think Are Awesome: Part One

I’ve seen these lists posts on other blogs so I decided to do one here... mostly because I really don’t know how to segue through all the things I want to talk about. Although normally I think a well-crafted segue is awesome.

Not segways, though. They kinda suck.

(The only good thing to come from segways was G.O.B.)

1. Stir It Up

I wanted to give some love to a new-to-me restaurant in Fernwood, Stir It Up. I was finally enticed into trying the restaurant one day after smelling of their delicious food. It's Jamaican and Caribbean food. Sadly, the kitchen is very small and does not allow for prep in the space so some of the items are premade and then reheated but it tasted so delicious, I got over that very quickly.

GET IN MY BELLY!!

[Photo from their site]

It is cash only so hit up the ATM before you go (there's one across the street at the Fernwood Inn, so, you know...) and you either need to go on a sunny day when you can sit outside or get take out as the inside has about two 'cozy' seats. Meals run about $10.

2. XKCD

So, this webcomic is something that I always love but I was a little enamoured with this particular comic:

[Permanently borrowed from XKCD]

I know I may get some haters but based on the people I know who attend Burning Man, I have come to decision that the majority of attendees are socially obnoxious d-bags. Also, based on the number of stories those same people have told me about cheating or being cheated on at Burning Man, they're d-bags who can't stay faithful so... yeah...

3. THR

This falls into the list of things I always love but THR (who is also crafty) is back from her trip Down Under to see her family and she linked up to a great link of free organization tools. I thought it was so awesome, I decided it needed to be shared over here too. She linked to some crafty person who also had links to fee name tags/crafty items. The part I liked most is here. It's all free and all cute. What's not to love?

4. Star Trek (TOS)

Thanks to Darla over at Bakingdom (that girl is seriously talented and you should all have her in your reader even if only to look at the pretty pictures of things you'll never make... like me!) I learned that today is the 45th anniversary of the airing of very first episode of Star Trek.

I don't know if you guys have noticed but I am a huge nerd! I watched every single episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation growing up. I read a couple of the books (which I would only read at home so I wouldn't accidentally be caught with one by a 'cool' kid and mercilessly mocked for) and even dressed up as Counselor Troi for Halloween one year.

I dyed my hair black with one of those 'one wash' dyes and then I curled it.

The curls were gone in about 30 minutes (stupid poker straight hair) and

I was still washing the black dye out two weeks later. One wash my *ss!

I was a late-comer to The Original Series (called  TOS by those 'in the know' aka geeks) only starting to watch it about five years ago. I love it. Some day, when I meet my sugar daddy (so, you know, never), I plan to buy the entire series on DVD because I'm nerdy awesome like that.

Back to Darla's awesomeness. Also being of the geek-persuasion, Darla made these awesome TOS sugar cookies.

[Credit: shamelessly stolen from Bakingdom]

Seeing them in my reader this morning made my heart go pitter-patter! Also, she insinuated she was going to make some Firefly baked goods so that's my day made.

Captain Mal in edible form? If you insist!

So, those are some things I think are awesome right now. I have more to talk about but a) I have a lunch meeting I have to get to and b) The Guild isn't going to watch itself in the next 20 minutes before I have to leave, so, you know...

Shoot for the Moon. Earth's Gravitational Pull Will Prevent You From Obtaining Orbit But Maybe You'll Land Somewhere Interesting.

After a fabulous weekend in Nanaimo during which we visited Gabriola for the Theatre Festival, played a total of 11 games of rummy (so, roughly 100 hands), drank a few bottles of wine, drank a few gallons of tea, and discovered I had injured myself, the rest of Summer has flown by.
Did you know it's September 1st today?

I know!

I realised that out of all my plans for the summer, very few of them actually happened but I'm okay with that.

Camping plans fell through at the last minute. Hiking plans never happened due to something else happening pretty much every weekend. Travel to Vancouver and Seattle never materialised for the same reason. I did a lot of running but conflicting schedules and then injury stopped my goal of four-times-a-week.

I did get to catch up with some old friends at Shawnigan. I sat in the gardens at Government House and read a good book. I had multiple BBQs with awesome people. I verbally committed to going to Guinea in December 2012 and teaching the Kubian village ladies to sew school uniforms.

Wait, what?

Yeah, you read that right. But don't worry, go back and reread it just to make sure. I'll wait.

Through the magic of links, I'll remind you of the time I said:

5) MoonDance is talking about going back to Guinea for another dance/drum intensive learning holiday in 2012. Actually, Lynn suggested it a few years ago and then later said it wasn't a firm plan. Tonight Erin and I decided that we're just going to talk about it like it's happening because then it will. So, I'm totally going to Guinea in 2012. You heard it here first.

Erin and I were (sort of) joking but it worked. Moondance is going to Guinea in 2012 for dance and drum lessons. (While I have verbally committed to doing this, I will refrain from saying I'm actually going until I can sit down and do some accounting math and planning.)

Moondance is very closely related to Matoto as Matoto was born out of Moondance's last trip to Guinea. At at working bee last week, we were discussing our school in Kubian which will begin teaching students this October! (very excited about that) when the topic of school uniforms came up. I remembered a project in Tanzania where the local women were taught to sew the uniforms which in turn gave the additional income to the mostly single women.

Why can't we do that?

Except we need someone who sews.

And that, my friends, is how I ended up verbally committing to going to Guinea.

(Actually, I told them that if I am able to make the trip to Guinea, I would teach sewing but that the *if* is quite substantial at this time. They gave me a 'uh-huh' look which clearly states they expect me to fully make it happen. I do, after all , have 15 months to get it sorted.)

Something else I need to get sorted out in that time? French.

Guinea's only offical language is French. While I know that many of our teachers will have some English and many of my fellow travellers will have some French, I'd like to be able to do most of the teaching with as little translation as possible. In other words, I should have started learning French yesterday.

I'm nothing if not ambitious... and slightly crazy.

Mostly crazy.

I Can't Quit You

Shannon (mother of the awesome 'J') recently posted about her love-hate relationship with facebook and it got me thinking about my own love-hate with social media. Anyone who knows me INR (in real life) can attest, it's mostly a love relationship.

For all I cringe when I think about what some people are willing to share on the site (for the record, I keep my stuff on pretty tight lockdown but I also very rarely share anything that I wouldn't share on a public site... well, other than my last name), facebook has always contained many more pros than cons for me. As someone who loves to travel, facebook has allowed me to keep in contact with friends I've met along the way. For that alone, facebook is worth it.

Unlike twitter where I've made friends I didn't previously have, facebook is about connecting with people I already have a pre-existing relationship with. So imagine my surprise one lazy April morning in 2010 when I get a friend request from a name I don't recognize and a profile picture which doesn't trigger any memories for me. I check out our mutual friends.

She knows Cormac, a cousin from Armagh.

Cormac had moved to the States and married an Andrea; she had changed her last name on facebook only a few months before and I had received two friends requests for her in error. I am about to send a message explaining I was not the 'Andrea M' she is looking for when I realised that she's friends with Paddy. Paddy, a cousin originally from Dublin, lives in Galway and has never been to visit Cormac in the US. It was unlikely that this person was looking for the other Andrea.

I close the message box and went back to staring at the picture.

Nothing.

I let a few days pass while I mulled over who this person might be. Like me, her profile is pretty guarded so I couldn't do much snooping to determine who she is. I take the plunge and accept the request. If nothing else, it will give me a chance to snoop around her profile and figure out who she was before I unfriended her.

Chatting with my dad on the phone the next day, I ask if he knew who this Estelle-person was.

"She's Fonsie's youngest."

I had my answer. To the best of my knowledge, I had never met Estelle. In fact, I didn't meet Uncle Fonsie (Alphonsus, it has nothing to do with Happy Days) until he came to visit us in Canada when I was 15. My dad was the eighth child in a family of 11.* Fonsie was much older (first or second born, I'm not sure) and, according to my dad, had moved out by the time my dad was old enough to form a relationship with him.

Then there was some family drama. You know how large families are. Or maybe you don't which is why I have to write this. All I know about it was snippets overheard during conversations between my dad and his other siblings. I knew he existed but I only saw him when I was 15 and I haven't seen him since.

In short, Fonsie and my dad were never close and he was an uncle in name only.

And his youngest daughter (who is a few years older than me) wanted to be facebook friends.

Ultimately, that has been my biggest joy in facebook: the ability to develop relationships with my cousins independent of my father's relationship with them.

Living so far away from that half of my family, my relationships with them have always been through my dad's contact with his siblings. My knowledge was only what was passed on from their parents to my parents. If our parents weren't big phone buddies, well, I often didn't know they existed beyond "this aunt/uncle has x number of kids".

For the first time ever in my life, I don't had to be in Ireland to talk to my cousins, learn what's happening in their lives, and share what's going on in mine. I've learned more about my cousins as individuals in the last three years when I added the first one, than I ever did in the 28 years prior.

For that, Facebook, I will always appreciate you.

*We had to do our family trees for Grade 8 French and then present them to the class. Most people were done in two to three minutes. After five minutes, my teacher cut me off because I had demonstrated my knowledge of the vocabulary. I hadn't even had a chance to talk about my mom's side of the family.

Father's Day: The Soundtrack

Although my mom also had a great influence on my current music tastes (I can directly trace my love of Gordon Lightfoot to a mother-daughter road trip to Alberta when I was 14 or 15, but don't tell her because I fought her tooth and nail to listen to anything other that GL) it was really my dad who taught me to just love music for music.

I grew up without the idea that I wouldn't listen to something simply because it was uncool but because I had listened to it once and I didn't like it. As a result, while my classmates were hip-hop or rock or country or metal fans, I was just a music fan. I listened to everything as evidenced by a mix-tape (remember those?) I made in grade 10 which had Collective Soul, House of Pain, Nat King Cole, and the Dubliners on it. I was nothing if not eclectic.

For my dad, these are songs currently on my mp3 player because he made me listen to them ;) (I was going to do a little write up about each singer/group but they all ended up sounding the same way "my dad used to put these tapes on continues loops and blast them through the house" so instead, some have comments but most don't.)

Doug and the Slugs:

I chose Who Knows How (to Make Love Stay) simply because of the

'Drunk Musicians Fund' Fundraiser at the end. Their videos always made me laugh.

Leonard Cohen: My very first non-symphony concert was Leonard Cohen's Democracy Tour.

 

Sunday morning memory: Dad was cooking a fry up in his underwear

while belting out the words to this song.

Billy Joel:

1930's music (specifically, anything from Pennies from Heaven and The Singing Detective):

Irish Folk Music (the whole lot of 'em but that's an entire post by itself):

I really wanted to find the version that is track #1 on the Dublin Millennium Songs

sung by multiple Irish artists but I couldn't so you get the Dubliners instead.

Nat King Cole:

I know I already said Irish Folk Music, but I remember both my dad and my stepdad singing this song when I was young (in particular, I remember my stepdad playing it on the guitar when we were camping):

Happy Father's Day!

Photography That's Out of This World!

(Random Note: I really need a drummer to follow me around just so he can play a *rimshot* any time I make a pun... like the above title.)

I could talk about the Canucks won tonight but there's probably 7,482 bloggers in Vancouver who will talk about that so I'm going to geek out instead because that is just so something I would do.

A few days ago, I came across an awesome picture of the Endeavor docked at the International Space Station (ISS). The following day, Bad Astronomer* posted a link to the European Space Agency's (ESA) gallery of these photos (this link starts a slide show). I took a quick gander through them and then moved onto my next blog meaning to return.

I never did.

At dinner with my mom, I remembered the link and that I had made a mental note to send it to my step-dad as he likes astronomy as well. I returned from dinner, found the link, emailed it, and then really started looking at the photos.

As Bad Astronomer would say: click the photo to spacestationsizenate!

[credit]

As a race, we're pretty amazing. We came out of the plains of Africa, spread all across this globe, and now we're exploring space. Within a year (according to the current schedule) we will have a fully armed and operational Death Star space station for long term studies. Less than 100 years ago the reality of space travel was still a distant dream, now scientists will be living in it. And I think that's much more impressive than a Maxim Lapierre goal (even if the goal was awesome).

Why should we try for space travel? It cannot be a substance of any kind that can be expected to pay. It can only be something intangible, not involving haulage, which is at the same time more valuable. There is something like that: Knowledge. — Willy Ley

*The Bad Astronomer (aka Phil Plait) writes an awesome blog over at Discover magazine online (well, all their blogs are awesome) and you should go check him out.

A Long Time Ago, A Million Years BC...

Seventeen years ago today, Dennis Potter passed away.

Who? You're probably asking.

The man who taught me that song and dance routines are always appropriate.

I wasn't older than eight (possibly even younger) when I first say Potter's Pennies from Heaven six part series and I thought it was magical. I was too young to understand the dark (depressing) storyline of an affair, the resulting baby, the abortion, the fall into prostitution, and the accusations of rape and murder (in short, I got very little from the storyline beyond Arthur was a married travelling sheet music salesman in 1930's England) but I was drawn to the upbeat and cheerful 1930's dance numbers which punctuated the grim backdrop.

Unlike traditional musicals, the numbers in Pennies from Heaven didn't served to move the plot forward but to give an insight to what the character was thinking at that moment; you could remove every song and you'd still have a complete story (albeit even more depressing). The actors would lip sync to original 1930's recordings while dancing around a set only to end up in the same position they started in, as if the number had never happened. I was enthralled; I could do that in my own life!

I was never captured by Dennis Potter's later works the way I was with Pennies from Heaven (which may be the result of the creepy scarecrow in The Singing Detective which still gives me slight moments of panic 20 years later) but the fun burst out in a song that fits my mood and thoughts is a habit I have taken forward into adulthood. So thank you for that, Mr. Potter. And thank you for teaching me to never trust a travelling sheet music salesman.

And also for teaching me that love is good for anything that ails you.

A Real Mom

Do you think you'll ever want to find your real mom?

It is the most common question I get asked when people learn that I'm adopted.

Your real mom?

When I was younger I hated those words. Like the mom I had was a fake. An impostor. A pod person sent here to destroy mankind by infiltrating our every day lives. I would get angry. Sometimes I would yell at the person for using that word, this person who honestly didn't understand that they had said anything wrong.

Real.

I grew up and realised that the best thing was to respond with the words I preferred to use: "I don't know if I'll ever look for my biological mom; my real mom is still a part of my life." It gets the point across much better than yelling.

My biological mom gave me life and for that I will be forever grateful.

My real mom stayed up with me when I was sick, she gave me hugs when I was sad, she was my biggest cheerleader, she bore the brunt of my temper tantrums, she got angry at me when I needed it, she drove me to ballet, soccer, and band, she taught me how to sew, she tended to the flowers in my window box, she played the piano so I could dance to it, and she still loves me unconditionally because, biological or not, that`s what real moms do.

There are so many types of moms in this world--too many to list here--and I wish each and every one of you a wonderful Mother`s Day.

Love To You All!

I don't hate Valentine's Day but I don't love it. I've done the coupled-up-over-priced-dinner. I've done the single-ladies-hit-the-town-en-masse. I've done the coupled-up-cook-a-romantic-dinner. I've done the single-ladies-fancy-drinks-and-chick-flicks. Ugh, none of them really made me feel any better about the day.

This year I decided to do something a little different. This year I'm taking myself on a date. In about an hour, I'm heading out to see Casablanca at a nearby theatre and I'm getting dressed up for the occasion. My original plan had been to find people to go with and then I just decided 'fuck it'. Not to say that if a friend had wanted to join me I would have said 'no', but I liked not having to worry about whether or not I'd find someone to join me.

Maybe I'll run into someone up there that I know or maybe I'll be the lone single ticket in a crowd of couples. Either way, I have a date with Rick and Ilsa and that's more than enough for me.

Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone!

UPDATE:
After I posted this entry, I disappeared into the back of my apartment where there are no windows. When I returned to my living room less than 5 minutes later, torential rain was pounding against my window.

If I was driving I would have still gone, but I'm a public transit gal and I really don't like wearing my dry suit on the bus. So instead I've had a quiet Valentine's evening doing a few jobs I had on my list for tomorrow. Romantic, I know.

But don't worry, I still plan to keep my date with Humphrey. Just a few more items to cross off the list, and then it's me, Humphrey and a glass of wine.

A Love Letter To My First True Love

I was six when I first asked to take piano lessons.

My first piano actually belonged to our landlords. It was a large, black piano that stood along the far wall in the dinning room. I'm sure it's only because I was six, but I just remember the piano being massive. It towered over me as I learned to find middle C. When my mom and stepdad bought a house we couldn't take our landlord's piano with us so we purchased my second piano, a spinet piano.

Then we got you and you became the love of my life. Your keys were weighted properly and your tone was so full and gorgeous. In my dreams I owned a baby grand but when I played you I knew that you were better than any baby grand I could ever own. We would spend hours together. Sometimes I'd hit all the right keys and you'd reward me with beautiful music. Sometimes, like lovers do, we'd quarrel. The notes were wrong, I couldn't get you to understand what I was trying to do, and I would pound on you in frustration. I would yell words I would later regret. I was always sorry. It wasn't your fault. It was me. It was always me.

You supported me through years of lessons. You were my constant as I struggled to learn all that was expected of me. You celebrated my highs and felt the depth of my lows until one day I just quit. I could feel the joy slipping away and you deserved joy. I had reached Grade Nine. I knew that I didn't want to become a professional pianist, so why continue if all it was doing was removing the joy from playing? I knew you understood and we returned to playing just for the pleasure of it, just for the sheer love of making music.

I used you to teach children to love music as I loved music. You never complained. Through all the wrong notes and tripped over fingers, through all the hours of explaining what a major scale is and what a sharp is, through it all you stood fast and true. You were my rock. When the children were gone and we were all alone, I would thank you in the only way I knew how. I know you took pride in exposing another generation to the world of music. They may not have known how to express it to you, but I know they were as grateful for you as I was.

Then I moved to Europe. It was the beginning of the end for us. When I returned things were different. I moved out and couldn't take you with me. When I finally found a place for both of us it was with a roommate that thought he was a great musician but didn't understand that sometimes people just play for the fun of it. I didn't play you because I didn't want to listen to someone who didn't play the piano criticise me and, by extension, you. I should have stood up for you. I'm sorry.

I now live in an apartment and you've moved to my dad's. I know I always said that one day we would live together again, but how long should I hold onto that 'one day' for? You were so vibrant, with tones so rich and full. Now you sit quietly, collecting dust. It's not right. It's not fair. You are meant to be played and I can't play you. You should be with a family. You should be teaching children about the joys of music. You should be singing out Bach, Chopin, Beethoven, Debussy, Mozart, Liszt, and countless others. You should be used and loved and adored like you were when I first got you. You should be happy. You deserve to be happy.

Ending our relationship and selling you is the right thing for both of us. It will allow you once again be used to your full potential, and it will allow me to buy an electronic piano with a headphone jack which I can play without ever bothering the neighbours. Letting you go is the best thing I can do. I hope you understand that. But please know, every time I play a piano from now until the day I die, I will think of you and hope that you are happy where ever you are.

Because I love you. I always will.